Visiting with the houseplants

Had a wander around the house on Sunday realising that over the years, without really intending to, I've become a houseplant keeper. For years and years I said I didn't really do houseplants - I always said I couldn't keep them alive - but if that's the case then where have all these appeared from?

In the Living Room

This purple orchid is on it's fourth re-flowering in the year or so since I was given it by a friend, I'm holding out hope it's white-flowered neighbour might try again soon






The weeping fig came in the same pack as Bob about 25 years ago, and despite years of neglect now thrives on the windowsill.

This peace lily was part of another gift a couple of years ago and seems to just keep growing - mind you it has only flowered once.

In the kitchen

A bit of a mixture on the kitchen table at the moment - a baby Bob and a selection of succulents waiting for their forever homes, a scented geranium ready to be overwintered, our last Aloe Vera and a pot of sage cuttings waiting to be potted up. The dark red chrysanthemum was given to as a gift last Christmas and turned out to be four little plants in one pot - we split them and they've spent the summer outside. I brought this one in at the weekend to see what would happen and look how beautiful it is.

And then there's the white flowered orchid that was given to us a few years ago by J's cousins and the little seemingly ever-lasting cyclamen that was given to me the first Christmas I came to Stratford by a new colleague and has flowered every winter since, it's a gorgeous scarlet colour and brightens the darkest days beautifully. 

And then there's upstairs residents...

You've met Bob before and he certainly seems to have recovered from the pruning and propagating at the beginning of the year. All bar the last one of those babies has been re-homed.

And after a year in their new homes the succulents are looking great and it's their babies we'll be re-homing next. 

And dotted on windowsills all round the house....


there's the super-hot skinny chillis that have come in for the winter and the violas that are getting ready to move out and the lupin, sweet rocket, geraniums, verbena, penstemons and pinks that will all need to be potted on and over-wintered indoors until the Spring now.

And it seems that not only do we have a house full of plant-shaped memories and family and friends and kindnesses but lots of potential kindnesses to return.

Puzzlement - when action seems to fly in the face of logic

I'm having a confusing morning this morning as I sit in bed listening to the news of the latest Climate Action protests. By now I hope it's nice and clear where I stand on the need for change, the need for us all to do whatever we can to make changes and improve the future. As part of that need I obviously support the right to protest, demonstrate and march, to create beautiful protests like the one Jackie Morris and other artists and writers, poets and performers are coming together and using to remind us why we need to change, what we are trying to protect and the right to point out as effectively as we can that companies, corporates, government and all the individuals that make up society need to make changes. And yet today's targets for the Extinction Rebellion protests seem incongruous with the messages we are all trying to send to folk who have yet to come on board for whatever reason. And, terrifyingly to me, judging by a lot of the reactions I'm hearing and reading on social media they have the potential to have the exact opposite effect to the one we need. To alienate not to persuade, to close people's ears, minds and hearts and destroy the good work of thousands of small local groups and individuals who work tirelessly in their communities to demonstrate the changes that people CAN do..

An efficient, clean, reliable mass transport system has to be the cornerstone to any country's response to cleaning up the air and environment as a whole. People need to be able to get around and the need to do it consistently and safely and know they are going to get where they need to be, when they need to be there and if, by shutting down the very networks that currently do that (more or less) then what are all those folk going to do? They are going to shift to personal transport - to cars and vans that they feel they have control over, to planes that will get them to that meeting in Scotland when they have to be back in London or Manchester or Newcastle that evening, to going backwards and point blank refusing to make any changes to their behaviour. I'm also puzzled when those same protesters start to damage infrastructure and destroy things - things that will then need to use finite resources to fix. I fear a backlash from the current actions and that, in my view, should worry us all...

But what can little old me do....

I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the headlines and soundbites around the climate emergency and the attempt to paint small actions as inadequate, ineffective, "not enough". It makes people feel helpless, hopeless and dangerously, gives us permission to bury our heads in the sand and say what's the point? I might as well carry on as I am, after all "they" say it won't be enough and doing or not doing that thing will involve a change, a bit of effort, not doing something I like doing as often as I want to, learning or trying something new and could be a bit scary or different and I'm already busy/tired/poorly/struggling to make ends meet enough as it is....

After all one person not using peat in their gardens isn't going to save all the planet's peat bogs, one person not using herbicides and pesticides isn't going to protect all the soils and lives of all the creatures that depend on the micro-organisms that live within it, one person switching to a re-usable cup and water bottle isn't going to stop the production and dumping of plastics in our ocean, one person switching to the bus rather than driving to work isn't going to suddenly result in improved air quality in all our towns, one person taking the train from London to Scotland instead of flying isn't going to stop that plane taking off and... you get the picture.

But what, for me, is getting lost in all this is the multiplier effect - whether deliberately or just plain ignorantly our media and vested interests are feeding us a line that we just might not be able to make enough of a difference by our own behaviour, that dangerous implication that maybe just maybe we therefore shouldn't bother even trying. And yes, I know there is a danger here of my sounding like a completely paranoid conspiracy theorist but that doesn't change the facts that folk with money and livelihoods at stake will always try to influence the outcome of an argument in their immediate favour - apart from anything else that's human nature - what's in it for me? how will I benefit? immediate self-preservation - it's just what humans do.

However, all these "it's not enoughs" ignore a vital fact, no matter our creed, colour, gender, age, location, beliefs, education, income or any other characteristic we like to label and pigeon-hole each other with, we are a society, a collective of people who share this planet and hold the key to our own survival - the planet will exist whatever we do, it won't be the same but it will be here, it's our species and the other creatures that suffer from our choices and actions, it's our children who struggle to breathe on their way to school, our watercourses that are getting clogged up with poisons, soil run-off and rubbish of all kinds, our food-chain that has been contaminated with plastics and poisons... we have been and still are doing this to ourselves by our own small, cumulative actions and in-actions over centuries and now that we actually understand what is happening and can even see it with our own eyes, feel it with our own breath and know that things can be different if we want them to be, surely it just makes sense that we make whatever small choices or changes we can just on the off-chance that it starts to improve things for everyone...

With a little bit of help....

A chat with a friend this week has made me realise that a big fear for so many of us with a long term diagnosis of cancer or other condition is the loss of independence, the fear that suddenly you need to be "looked after" and become vulnerable to the vagaries of the world around you as treatments come and go and your ability to function fluctuates. I'm not going to lie - in my experience there are elements of that - you get swept up in a cycle of treatments, tests, appointments, side-effects and feelings that can overwhelm, frighten and bemuse and make you feel as if nothing will ever be right again but for us it hasn't been like that all the time and so I thought it might help someone out there if I wrote down a few things that have helped me feel like me despite all that is spinning around us.

Despite everything that has to happen around treatments and the illness there really are things you and your loved ones can do to give yourself room to breathe, to take control of the maelstrom and arrange your life and living to fit your new reality, if that's what you want and need to do. There is, in our experience, lots of help and support out there, although to be fair sometimes you have to hunt and badger for it and it can vary from area to area, condition to condition.

At this point it's only fair to put a few cards on the table as it may affect how some of you read and react to this post. After years of living fairly frugally and having reasonably well-paid jobs without the desire for the life-style that often goes with that, we are lucky to be in a financially secure position. This means we have been able to use that to our advantage and, if we identify some piece of kit we think might be useful or service we need to access we've been able to pay for it. I know that for a lot of people that is not the case and that adds yet another horrible dimension to an already terrifying illness and adds pressure that no-one needs. I do know that there are organisations out there that can help with grants, benefit applications and other support as I have been offered support on several occasions and will link to a few useful folk at the end. If you need the help please, please look for it and don't suffer in silence, the system is supposed to be there to support you not make life harder and there is no shame in hunting up the help you need even if it sometimes feels as if everything is stacked against you. (Sermon over I promise!)

After I'd come through the initial diagnosis and whirlwind of emergency treatment and first chemo my biggest fear was the loss of control and independence that came with feeling weak, ill and just not knowing what was around the corner. I needed help, was happy to have help but didn't want to be totally dependent on anyone no matter how much I loved and needed them in other ways, otherwise what was the point of anything. I needed and still need to be able to feel like I am living my life, enjoying our home, relationship and all that entails on terms that make it worth living. That has meant accepting that changes had to be made to the little things around the house as well as making a few bigger alterations and so eventually I swallowed my pride and started to hunt up kit and advice.

Our first stop was the local health service - they came to us - not letting me leave the hospital without doing a home assessment and providing us with the kit they thought we'd need - things like an extra bannister rail, a commode (possibly TMI but vital in the first few weeks home when I was limited to going up and downstairs once a day), a toilet frame,  perching stools and a bath board so that I could do what I needed to do whilst sitting down and then get up again!

Perching stool helps in the kitchen

They added a second stool to the kitchen so that I could sit at the worktop or sink or just grab it and sit if getting out to the kitchen had proved too much. Believe me when I say the commode went back as soon as humanly possible and provided a great incentive to do the strengthening exercises the physios had given me! I still have the stools and other kit as they are invaluable on tired days and really make a difference to what I am able to do for myself.They also provided a manual wheelchair which we've subsequently returned as we have our own.  All of this support came free of charge and periodically they get in touch to see whether I need any further support.

Tri-walker and cane

handy tray trolley

They, along with a wonderful physiotherapist attached to the hospice also gave us the chance to try other things out to see if they suit - things like a walking frame and exercise kit - by trying different ones we were able to go on to buy a little tri-walker that folds up easily, is relatively lightweight so that I have been able to put it in the car and get out by myself over the summer. It also means I can get about outside without having to carry a bag and aggravate the back pain. We added a brilliant tray trolley that means I can easily move things around from room to room downstairs - it even gets used as an impromptu potting bench as the trays come off easily for washing and just this morning I've used it to help me empty the washing machine and move the contents to the drying rack without lifting too much. We actually picked this up in the hospice charity shop really reasonably priced but I'm pretty sure that the health team would have provided one if I'd have asked. We've got the manual wheelchair for days when I need extra help but luckily they are few and far between at the moment but it does mean we can go a bit further afield if I want to and J's around.

The biggest expenses have been one of those riser recliner chairs  - especially made to be the right size and height for me and supportive for the back and cushioned to prevent sores developing if you have to spend extended amounts of time in it and an adjustable bed as I can no longer lay flat and sometimes need extra help to get up. These have both made a huge difference but were a big investment. Our district nurse team did say that there are local grants available for folk who need stuff like this but can't afford to buy it so it is worth enquiring in your area if you think you would benefit from kit you can't afford. Our most recent investment is a very good rotating table that sits next to my chair but that I can easily move to the side when I need to get up and down - the medical ones would be too heavy for me to shift myself but the one we've got has a 360°swivel top. J installed it  fairly easily and now all I have to do is push the top aside to get out of the chair.  The great thing about this is my laptop is at the right height and I can rest a proper book or anything else I want to do on a cushion on it and read and type without hurting my neck and back as well as using it to eat off or whatever. It's made a huge difference to managing pain levels and helping me keep occupied already. Again it wasn't the cheapest available but it doesn't look like it belongs in a nursing home and I can use it without help which was vital so we're happy and I'll pop a link to Amazon below just in case anyone else out there would find it useful too. One of the cheapest and simplest investments we made came very early on - a couple of those grabby sticks that you see litter pickers use - one for upstairs and one for downstairs so that when I drop stuff it's easier to retrieve. I've also found a little wooden over the knee table that fits my laptop or book when I'm in bed so that I can read without too many extra aches and pains.

Before anyone has an apoplexy about my blasé expenditure it hasn't been all about having to have new or extra stuff I promise. We happened to have a spare kettle left from when we cleared a family house (we couldn't bear to get rid of something that worked) so we've now got a kettle in the bedroom which means I can make a morning hot drink without spilling it on the stairs and me. We also keep a couple of packet soups and harvest-type bars up there so that when I am having a really low power day I've even got food upstairs. It's brilliant for lazy weekend starts too! I keep a couple of long handled bags at the top and bottom of the stairs so that if I do have to transport things up and down I have my hands free for the bannister rails, safer for me. With the help of my mum and J we've shuffled drawer, freezer, fridge and cupboard contents around so that anything I need on a daily basis or when I'm on my own is easily to hand and I don't have to do a lot of bending, carrying or shifting - things like everyday clothes, cups, glasses and that kind of thing are all in easy reach and mean I can get dressed, fix food and just exist without needing to exert too much energy on the low days. Early on J moved some of the heavier chairs around the house so there is always somewhere I can perch and know that I can get up again or hold onto if I get unsteady - this has proved really handy again now I'm back on the chemo and my energy levels are a bit reduced again. There are baskets and boxes dotted round the house with the things I might want during the day/week like medicines, chargers or books and J checks before he goes back to work in case there is anything in particular I might want to do whilst he's not around. Another thing I do is use the kitchen blackboard a lot as a memory prompt - notes to myself (and J!) that the dishwasher is filling, emptying, what time I need to switch the battery charger off and all manner of similar reminders.

For everyone's piece of mind I also agreed to an emergency button from the Lifeline service. This is a charged for service that provides 24hour help to folk that need it and whilst I haven't had to use it an emergency yet, I have accidentally set it off a couple of times so know the response is comforting and quick!

When it comes to managing appointments, shopping and things like that the Internet is truly our friend and I wouldn't be without it. J and I share an online calendar so that he knows what appointments I have coming up and can juggle work and his other commitments around them and I can see where he is if I need him for anything. I also use a separate calendar to keep track of my day-to-day medication - putting in reminders of what to take and when and keeping track of where I am with the day which helps when the brain gets a bit stressed and loses track of where I am with everything. We even use the direct message service on Twitter to keep in touch during the day without disrupting his work. The Google Keep note-taking app comes in handy too as we can share notes and even shopping lists on there - for example we have a shared note for all my different medication, another with emergency medical contacts, a third with the contents of the hospital go bag and what might need adding to it if I have to go in at short notice - it happened a few times over last year so has already proved worth having and the app is really easy to use. I supermarket shop online too which, whilst I miss the odd wander around the shelves means I'm still choosing what I want, can create the list as and when I remember that I want something and once it's delivered can put it away slowly - on really low energy days I pop the fridge and freezer stuff away and leave the rest for J when he gets home or for later when I feel more like doing it so there's no pressure. But above all that being online also means I can keep in touch with friends and family, have an outlet through this blog and all the lovely ones I follow and see what's happening in the world which helps me still feel part of it whenever I need to and that has been a really important.

This has turned into an extremely long post but I really hope it might help someone out there feel slightly less helpless or hopeless and find a way through whatever maze they are in.

Bye for now Tx

Links to stuff (these are NOT affiliate links just examples of what I've found useful)

Our Grabby sticks - https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0076VM39W/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Rotating table - https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B006908192/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1


Links to National Help
Macmillan Cancer Care - information, advice and practical support. Online forums
Cancer Research UK - information and advice. Online forums
Hospice UK - information, advice and contact details for hospices
GovUK benefits page - information and application forms
Citizen's Advice - information, advice and practical support to apply for benefits as well
Breast Cancer Now - information and advice
Lifeline24 - Emergency button and help service

Links to local help in South Warwickshire
The Shakespeare Hospice - Day Hospice, Complementary Therapies, Art therapies, Hospice at Home, Family Support, All round wonderful folk!
South Warwickshire NHS Foundation Trust Cancer Teams - Medical teams, community support and palliative care nurses in Warwick and Stratford.
The Myton Hospice - residential hospice in Warwick.
Warwickshire Libraries - information, advice and lots of free stuff to do online as well as in branches. Home Delivery service if you need it.

Sorry, not sorry

The last few days have not been the easiest, sometimes living with this bloody disease just gets on top of me and whilst diversionary activities do help, when you don't sleep the world can look very grey and you feel crap. Most of the time I don't write this down here 'cos it's not something folk want to read about but I don't want to give credence to the trope that if you "fight" you win, that being cheerful all the time means a medical miracle is just round the corner and that every day will be roses and sunshine until you wander off peacefully "over the rainbow bridge", it just isn't. Sometimes you hurt and you want to scream, cry your eyes out or curl up into a ball to make it all go away. It doesn't and if you are lucky those you love hang around, let you cry and yell, hold your hand and help the bad days pass - and believe me I know I am very lucky and just hope that they too have someone they can talk to when their days turn grey and I'm a useless puddle of selfishness.

It will pass, panic attacks don't hang around for long and neither do my grey days. There will be flowers again, in fact we've been making sure of that this weekend - potting on cuttings and taking more - see it's not all been grey.

The Gift of Beauty

Back in autumn/winter 2017 I came across a book, not unusual for a librarian and book-addict admittedly, but this wasn't just any book, this was a gift to the soul, a true work of imagination and sublime art, it arrived at a truly traumatic time in my life and over the last 2 years I'm not the only one it has spoken to and I certainly can't be the only one to draw comfort from it's pages, to revisit the words, the pictures and the whole feeling of peace that the work creates and I know I have mentioned it here previously.



Created by illustrator and artist Jackie Morris and writer Robert Macfarlane The Lost Words was a reaction to the removal of certain nature words from the 2007 Oxford children's dictionary and the effect it had on me and countless others has been palpable. It's pages conjure the fleeting beauty of bluebells, the delicate joy of wren, the majesty of raven and even the glimmer of starling and the sheer joy it gives is testament to the magic of the spells written and creatures conjured from its pages.

Since these two magicians came together their work has taken on a life of it's own spawning crowd-funder campaigns right across the country to ensure schools, hospices and care-homes have copies to share with their pupils, patients and residents and leading to new spells being created on hospital walls by Jackie and another magician of the natural world - Alison O'Toole. Jackie herself explains how that came about on her own beautiful blog but the magic hasn't stopped there. Now, new joy has been born in the form of The Spell Songs a glorious combination of musicians, wordsmiths, art and love for the natural world - they've toured and will even be doing a Prom later this month and just this week my own copy of their wonder-filled CD arrived on my doorstep. The haunting Blessing and strident Heartwood resonate around the house as I write this and will be played again and again in the weeks to come. But fret not if buying the book or CD is beyond your means right now, because they've also posted the beauty onto the 'Net - allowing it to run free for everyone to hear, watch and benefit from. Jackie has even allowed us to take a walk with her on a recent podcast from Folk on Foot, to share in the surroundings that help produce those glorious illustrations and to listen in to a bit of the magic that has sprouted from the seeds she and Robert planted. I'm not sure if their creation is what they hoped it would be but I hope they realise just how much it has meant to so many people. I hope that wherever they go and wherever they read, conjure and perform, the words "Thank You" are uttered over and over again and if you haven't yet come across the magic then click on one of the video links below and enjoy!

Pottering

Wednesday was bone scan day - a scary big deal but a necessary one and yesterday I had a quick trip to the local hospital for a blood test, routine but nonetheless adds to the fret-levels sometimes so afterwards we rewarded ourselves with a quick trip to the local garden centre - we needed compost but I wasn't up to the 25 mile round trip to get our usual peat-free Sylvagrow stuff. Luckily the local Wyevale had some New Horizon peat-free in stock so we've picked up a few bags of that to try out. We used this one a few years ago so hopefully it will be good enough to help our tomatoes and peppers to thrive in the coming months.  They've done well with the Sylvagrow start so I'm just hoping we don't put in a kink in their development with a new compost. At the moment the tomatoes are blocking the light out in the living room window so we really need the frosty nights to be over and done with soon!

We also picked up some new pots and bark compost for the orchids that are starting to to get a little pot bound. The purple one has been flowering its socks off for the last few months on the other window-sill but the white one has been looking more than a little sorry for itself so I'm off to find out how to treat it better and persuade it to flower again.

It's hot out there....

The long weekend flew by -  after a Friday spent shuffling bulb pots and basking in the sunshine we spent the rest of the weekend sowing courgettes and sweetcorn seeds, making a couple of trips to the allotment, catching up with friends and sheltering from the heat of the August Easter Bank Holiday. Yes, it was a lovely weekend after the long grey of winter and sitting out in the warmth felt wonderful and life-affirming and thoroughly joyful. But, stop for a minute, it was 25℃ in the Midlands in the middle of April and this came on the back of last year's long hot dry summer and news of Spring wildfires in Scotland, the Peak District and Staffordshire and is something that we really should be concerned about, in fact it should terrify us, it should mean we're rushing to insulate our homes, reduce our use of petrol, gas and other polluting fuels, plant trees and protect habitats, refuse single-use plastics and all other non-essential packaging and dispose of all of our rubbish responsibly, buy only organically-grown pesticide-free foods and sustainably produced clothing, to only consume what we really need not what advertisers make us think we want. It means that when we watched David Attenborough's BBC documentary on Thursday night or heard Greta Thunberg speak  that we finally let the penny drop, finally decided to take action, to listen to what scientists have been telling us for years, to believe our own eyes, to finally acknowledge that the climate has already been affected by our actions and our in-actions, to take our blinkers off and own up to the fact that it is up to US to change how WE live now or risk huge damaging changes that will detrimentally affect the lives of millions of people all around the world - not THEM, not just the politicians, the multi-nationals, the conglomerates, the governments, the others but US.
The question is are WE going to change or WE going to keep looking around for Someone Else to do something?

Ideas on where to start:
 https://www.asustainablelife.co.uk/
https://transitionloughborough.wordpress.com/
https://www.thegreenlivingforum.net/forum/
https://www.gardenorganic.org.uk/
https://www.goodenergy.co.uk/
https://www.ecotricity.co.uk/
https://www.fullychargedshow.co.uk/

Being home taking baby steps

Been home a few days now, the wonderful NHS are sending in a community nurse team 3 times a day to administer antibiotics and keep an eye on dressings, temperatures etc. It's a service I'd never even heard of and is already speeding up my recovery compared with the last attack I had of this infection back in October. They are truly wonderful, as are J and my Mum. Yet again her visit here has been interrupted by an "episode" but she's taken it in her stride, kept going with the washing, tea making, keeping family in the loop and keeping an eye on me, reminding me when she thinks I've been on my feet too long (usually about 20 minutes before my body will choose to do the same!) and being the bloody wonderful human being she always has been. Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the UK - planned trip out isn't going to be able to happen now, but we'll do it later on when this bleeping infection is beaten and the keel is restored to even. Thanks Mum.

J has juggled work, chores, hospital visits, long train journeys, early starts and late finishes, and also being a bloody wonderful human being - I'm lucky to have several in my life! Thank you my love. He's off up the allotment today to put the potatoes in as the chits on the Homeguard were getting so long we had visions of the marching off up the road on their own - it's safe to say they really want to grow!

Yesterday I managed a bit of a potter around the garden, visiting with seedlings and seeing what has bloomed in the last week and what is showing promise for the next month or so. We have some beautiful violets, wallflowers, muscari and cowslips all now in full flow and the bulb pots around the front are looking wonderful. My evening photography skills need a bit of work - and my hand might not have been as steady as I would have liked but below are some snaps from dusk yesterday. All being well we'll be pricking out some tagetes and petunias later and thinking about sowing some herbs too. Soil and plants are as usual helping with those baby steps back to me.  Bye for now Txx

Muscari and wallflowers on "waterbutt corner"

Cowslips on the edge of our "no-mow" area

Tulips and geraniums - promise of colour to come

Chives re-emerging - might need to weed the pot a bit

Soft blue in the rosemary hedge

Unintentional interruption in the blogging area

Sorry for brief disappearance. Pictures and ponderings will return as soon as I can but back in hospital for a short while, at least I hope its a short while...
Talk to you later xxx

Monday's musings

Brightening the day with flowers from the garden

'Twas a really weird afternoon yesterday with brilliant sunshine, really heavy rain, high winds, huge flakes of really soggy snow and then a pretty sunset so what was there to do but bury my head into the wonderful The Girl in the tower, this is really living up to the promise of the first book in the trilogy and I only have about a third of it left - it's one of those that you want to keep reading to find out what is going on but at the same time I really don't want it to end - good job the third part is sitting on the shelf just waiting for me!

All ready to pot on

The morning was a little more productive mind - potting on and pricking out the seedlings that have been germinating in the back bedroom for the last few weeks. So we now have little pots of pansies, violas, welsh onions and big pots of sweet peas all ready to grow on.

Today has been a similar mix of chores and chilling - lots of sorting out upstairs as Mum is due for a visit at the end of the week and her bed was buried under a mountain of stuff! There's a bit less rubbish in there now but more to do before she gets a cosy night's sleep.

Violets emerging

By the time I'd done with chores for the day I couldn't resist a quick potter outside in the sunshine (boy is it chilly today!) - the violets are starting to appear now and the odd cowslip is sending up bud stalks just as the crocuses are starting to go over, so the wheel turns again. I couldn't resist bringing a few flowers indoors so a mug of hellebores, large daffodils and little tête-a-têtes has joined the re-potted peace lily and other bits and bob on the living room sideboard.

Now where did I put that book.....

.

Garden therapy

It's a bit of a "meh" day today - weather is grey, blustery and a tad chillier than of late and I'm feeling a little sorry for myself - nothing major just one of those days -  so thought I'd have a quick potter down the garden to see what the plants thought of the day and put some food out for the birds. Only 5 or 10 minutes because it really was chilly but even that was enough to brighten the morning inside. In a bid to spread the joy this is what is flowering this morning:

Over-wintered wall-flowers on the verge of opening

Last year's baby daffodils and a few grape hyacinths

The pot may be broken but the daffies are still pretty

King of the Striped living up to it's name

And to add to the joy a little male black-cap popped out of the hedge to drink from the crocks bucket!

Therapy complete :)

Repairing and re-purposing rather than discarding and replacing

One of the most important aspects of any low-impact lifestyle is to ensure that you minimise the amount of things that find their way to landfill sites especially when they are made of metals or plastics as they just sit there and form a blight on our landscapes, put our wildlife, watercourses and atmosphere at risk and cause untold damage that future generations will have to deal with.

So what happens when things in this house get damaged or break?

Birds don't care that feeder has shrunk

Well I suppose I'm lucky in that J has really great repair skills and the patience of a saint when it comes to watching you-tube videos and reading around about anything he doesn't already know how to fix - about the only thing he won't touch is significant plumbing and gas related stuff. So my little LED kitchen and garden lights have had their cables repaired and spliced several times to extend their life, garden tools are regularly sharpened and taken apart and re-assembled if they get stiff or the springs rebel - this keeps them useful and safe. My collapsed-into-the-pond-because-the-pole-rusted bird feeder was cleaned up, the rusty end cut off,the post re-fettled and it's now back in the garden, albeit a bit shorter but still useful and far enough off the ground that the birds are safe from the cats.
He also shares his skills at repair cafés when he gets the chance - these are another great thing put on by Transition Loughborough and many such groups around the country so if you do have something you can't fix then it might be worth hunting up your local Repair Café. On one occasion one of the other volunteers repaired a hole in his knitted jumper whilst he was busy sharpening and re-fettling a load of secateurs so they are a great place to share skills too.

Not my favourite job but...

On a more day to day basis, socks get darned, holes in clothes get stitched and when they can't be stitched anymore they get turned into cloths, rags for DIY projects and nice soft plant ties and then eventually shredded for compost. If it's a small hand stitching job I can manage but when it comes to machine stitching - that skill eludes me - I always seem to let the machine run away with me, the thread runs out or breaks or gets ridiculously tangled and then I get frustrated, lose patience and give up.

Favourite mug to water pot

Whilst my practical repairing skills are somewhat limited I'm quite good at finding new uses for things that might otherwise be thrown out - so a mug with a broken-into-a-dozen-pieces handle has become a water pot for painting, jars with non-standard tops become elastic band holders, tea-light containers, pencil pots and containers to root cuttings in, chipped plates become mixing palettes for paints, epoxy resin or putty or even saucers for plant pots and,when turned upside-down, they prevent outside plants sitting in water over the winter saving money on plant pot feet and extending the life of many Mediterranean herbs that don't like to sit in the winter wet. Finally, when that life is over, they are likely to become drainage crocks for plant pots.

Many other things can have a life beyond their original purpose - even those designed to be single use like yogurt pots, mushroom cartons and fruit punnets can go on to be used for seed trays, pot holders and containers for collecting homegrown fruit and veg before eventually ending up in the recycling stream via your council collection if you are in an area like mine or your local recycling centre if not. We try to remember that even recycling uses up resources that re-purposing would save so do our best to think about what we can do with our waste before we leave it up to others to take away but I know that there are many areas that we could improve on and keep looking for new ones.

Accomplishing Admin.

Got the week off to a good start this morning as I worked my way through the "to do list"- I requested some repeat prescriptions, using my surgery's online system makes this so easy to do, and because it is always available it means that I can sort them out no matter what time of day I remember them. I've also opened a new savings account, made some medical appointments, shuffled through a couple of the clutter piles and written out some birthday cards for fellow January birthdayers so now I'm feeling quite pleased with myself!  I've got friends coming for lunch this weekend so have been pondering what to make whilst at the same time finishing off my store cupboard check ready for the "big shop". Not a "no spend January" for me this year as we've been carefully using stuff up over the last month or so and now I need to restock with things like bread flour, basic dried herbs, lentils and the like. I've also added some frozen berries and other fruit to the order so I can make smoothies when I feel like it and there's no chance of it going off if I don't fancy them for a few days.  We've used up all of last year's homegrown berries and whilst there's still a fair bit of preserved apple and some fruit leathers left I do want a bit of variety to our January puddings and breakfasts.
More on the lists for tomorrow but time for a rest now!
Hope your week has begun well too.

Dismantling December Blues or launching into January Joys?

The tree ornaments are now in their boxes, the candle holders wrapped in tissue paper and the door wreath popped out into the back garden for a few days in case the birds want to rummage through the berries. The cards are in a bag to be de-personalized and set aside for hospice crafts or recycling, depending how inundated with donations the team get. Later the lights will be sorted, packed back into their tins and the tree will be dragged into the back ready for shredding for mulch and, if the trunk is any good a bit of turning or carving later in the year. If the trunk is no good for turning then we'll cut it up and pop it under the hedges for the critters to munch on. The greenery that has lived on in jugs over the last few weeks (and lasted remarkably well it has to be said) will be chopped up and composted and any ribbons set aside for re-use - they're already in a bucket outside waiting for tomorrow when I might feel inclined to don coat and gloves against the chill. J will be press-ganged to hoover through and the surfaces will be dusted down and made ready for the new month's clutter to accumulate - I'm under no illusions I always re-accumulate clutter no matter how many times I sort through and clear surfaces so why deny it?
 There are still some un-opened sweets and mince pies as well as half a stollen - so note for next year - you get sweets as presents so you don't need to buy stuff in too! The Christmas cake lasted through to the New Year but only just so we won't get a chance to get fed up with that. Tomorrow's lunch will use up the last of the fresh veg. In fact we've done quite well at using food up as we go along so a larder & freezer check is in store for next week and then I'll do a shop for fresh supplies of store cupboard staples and maybe a few new flavours - but I've a feeling stews, soups and bakes will feature quite highly over the next month or so as we head to the chilly time of year so there won't be too many new flavours just yet.
The music that has rung out over the last month has been de-bookmarked (is there such a word?... oh well, there is now!) and new tunes will now take their place when I'm cooking, reading or just fed up with the TV - more on that later in the month no doubt.
The hyacinth bulbs given as a present are tucked in the dark sleeping and waiting for their time in the sun (12 weeks and counting!!)
There are un-watched box sets earmarked on the Fire stick and player services.
There are un-read books on the shelf behind the tree and, if I'm lucky a few more to come as birthday presents later in the month.
There are more jigsaws stacked waiting to entertain (thanks Mum!) and the watercolours and new glass paints are sitting in their boxes ready for me to dabble once J has gone back to work and Mum has gone home.
A year ago I wasn't sure I'd get to see this one so no more time to be blue, time to make room for the joy of a new month, a new year, and new things to try out.
Joyful January indeed!

Ringing the old year out...

Rachel Unthanks & the Winterset- Tar Barrel in Dale - perfect for this evening

It's a strange time of year, that feeling of pondering, looking back, stock taking and reviewing coming right up against a sense of anticipation, of suspense, of something just hanging in the air, lurking around the corner, a whisper of potential, of possibilities, of opportunities to come... It lingers here even now when we hope that nothing changes too radically as that probably won't be a "good thing". So here I am as we bid farewell to the Old, stepping into the New Year ready to see what I can do with it's potential, or at least to do my level best to do so and to carry on taking each day as it comes for as long as they come.

May good fortune be with you...

Bahhhh! Bothersome Book Bungle

Just started to read the much anticipated Sleeper's Castle by Barbara Erskine only to get two pages in and realise that this is one I must have borrowed from the library when it first came out, back before I became really poorly, before the pain, before the diagnosis, before bleeping chemo, before I stopped reading, before I started reading again, just bloody before! Slap!, a reminder that I could have done without but blow that, I'll just have to resume keeping a book list won't I? I used to do it and I'd pondered about adding a page here so I'll just do it. And it's not the end of the world, her books are wonderful and deserve a re-read so I'll just save it until I've worked my way through the un-reads or want the familiar. But bahhh!

Just chilling

Having a quiet couple of days here - may have been a little more tired and a little more achey than is entirely comfortable but that's okay. I've spent a few days doing what I enjoy doing - baking, cooking, eating, pottering and chatting and a couple of lazy food days won't hurt. We've also finished a couple of jigsaws over the last few days - which involves sitting upright at the table for slightly longer than is advisable and I "helped" J prune the garden apple tree. So all in all a good week and if it means a few days of late starts and lots of time spent in the easy chair then so be it.

Zoom in for a giggle - lots of visual funnies in this one.

December drawing to an end

Today has been Boxing Day, a great day for loafing and leftovers. It's also the kind of day that lends itself to looking back, to reviewing things so here's what I have come up with for today.

Royal icing, marzipan and cherries for the top

Things made to share
We were too full yesterday to cut this Christmas Cake so it received it's first cutting today. It had stayed nice and moist despite not having any alcohol in it and the icing hadn't gone rock hard so a definite win.
Dinner yesterday was pine nut-roast and roast veggies and was followed by a leftovers pie and herb and onion nibbles for today, Boxing Day. Tomorrow will be lazy lentil stew - a pot of base and a pot of potato from the freezer with some veggie and store cupboard extras - quick and easy.

Things read
Busy doing other things over the last couple of weeks so still reading Katherine Arden's wonderful book. I'm going to ask for the other two parts of the trilogy for my birthday I think. I've also dipped in and out of a few e-magazines borrowed from my local library's electronic lending service. If you haven't already done so and are looking to save some money in the coming year take a look at your local service and see what they offer.

No spoilers as the picture isn't the same as the box

What were the other things? Well this Christmas Wasgij kept three of us busy for a few days and there are a few more puzzles lined up to take its place.




Things watched
The Paddington Films - I hadn't seen either of these so made the most of my new Amazon Prime subscription and watched them both in the last week. I think I liked the second one even better than the first.
Watership Down - I also enjoyed the new BBC adaptation of Richard Adams' story shown over two nights despite it receiving mixed reviews.
I've also been making the most of the Prime subscription by trying out different series that have been around for some time but I've never seen. So this last week or so I've started the first series' of The man in high castle (interesting concept but very confusing); The 100 (so far so good but a bit Lord of the flies...) and Battlestar Galactica ( ok but you do have to pay attention as it darts around a lot). I've also tried out The Marvellous Mrs Maisel - which is more just about ok than marvellous in my opinion but will fill some time when J goes back to work next month.

Things listened to
Other than favourite Christmas music and Winter songs I sat down this afternoon and actually listened to a radio drama for the first time in ages. 'Twas Neil Gaiman's Norse mythology on Radio 4. Check out on Iplayer/ Sounds here.

So there you have it - hope you have had a chilled out week too.

Celebrating our way.

Family traditions evolve over time and often make no sense to anyone else at all but nonetheless become a valued and ingrained part of your celebration. For us it all starts when the BBC broadcast the Christmas Special edition of the 1970s comedy "The Good Life", entitled "Silly but it's fun" it sort of sums things up for us.  After all, we have just celebrated Christmas Eve with our traditional breakfast of Hot Cross Buns - bought as an "oh how could they" giggle many moons ago when we were setting off early to visit Js mum, hot cross buns have now become an out-of-season must have for us. The tree, if we have one, has to be real, the topper a star. If we are lucky enough to get too many cards for the living room pelmets then two red ribbons get attached to the door and the remaining cards get attached to them. Any greenery brought in has to be home grown or foraged. And Boxing Day, well Boxing Day is, weather permitting, Pruning Day - whether we just do the garden tree or we manage to get up to the allotment - we always try to prune the apple trees on Boxing Day and kick off the new growing year in style.

So, however you celebrate the turning of the wheel and the coming of the longer, brighter days that are just around the corner, may the next few days be everything you wish for and bring you good health and much joy.