One of the changes my illness has brought about is an abundance of time but not necessarily the energy to make the most of it or the ability to know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next. It has also meant that my determination to live a simpler, greener, less wasteful life has taken a bit of a hit - as anyone who's been through a long illness will tell you the amount of waste you suddenly generate from pill boxes, syringes, wrappers and single use items is staggering and so much of it isn't easily recyclable either. Not a lot you can do about this but it has had knock-ons in other parts of my life too and whilst I am feeling relatively ok, I want that to change. The new regime coupled with dealing with the fall-out of the illness itself has seen my reliance on bought-in, pre-made and pre-packaged everything rise to a point that would have seem unimaginable just a year ago. A re-think is long overdue!
This weekend has been wonderful and has helped me rediscover my cooking mojo - we had friends to lunch on Saturday and it was a joyful opportunity to share food and catch up on their lives, it also gave the men in our lives a chance to meet too which I think they all enjoyed judging by the intense train related conversations which ensued! Whilst it left me really tired on Sunday, I now have a new determination to make the most of the good days and to cut my reliance on shop bought ready meals and quick fixes - don't get me wrong, these have been a huge help over the last few months, especially on the days when even putting a kettle on or slinging a ready meal in the microwave has seemed like a huge chore, but I need a change, I need to regain a bit of control over how I live. So, re-inspired by Jane at Shoestring Cottage and Rhonda at Down to Earth I have begun to plan, to try for that control, that way of living that I was striving for before events overtook us.
Starting simply with a meal plan using the food I have in the house - produce we have dried or frozen, ingredients that I stockpiled before the diagnosis and ready-mades that I have laid in since - I have drawn up a plan for the coming week and an outline one for the week after. Building in wriggle room for tired days or days when appointments take over, I'll see how it goes and check back in at the end of the two weeks. At the moment I'm intending to make the most of good days to sort through shelves, check stores, make my own meals and make extras that I can pot up and freeze for the rougher days. It should help J a bit as we'll identify what foods we need to be growing next year and what we can leave out as they've languished at the bottom of the freezer for a couple of years! I hope this will be a prelude to working my way through the house sorting through stuff, finding ways to make life easier, less cluttered, less crowded so that we have the space to do what we need to do and what we want to do when we can, so that whatever happens with my health, it's still our life we're living, our choices we're honouring.